Not sure why, but I’ve always liked jokes that involve people going to heaven.
I came across this one by JB. Made me smile. Link: Indefinite Articles: There’s a joke in here somewhere.
There’s a joke in here somewhere.
…
Or…
In Heaven, the UI developers are Mac-heads, the security team is BSD freaks, the coders are Linux geeks and the portability developers are Windows nuts.
In Hell, the UI developers are Linux geeks, the security team is Windows nuts, the coders are Mac-heads and the portability developers are BSD freaks.
Or…
In Heaven, the marketing team’s idol is Seth Godin, the developers’ idol is Linus Torvalds, the QA team’s idol is Mussolini and the exec’s idol is Eric Schmidt (Google)
In Hell, the marketing team’s idol is Linux Torvalds, the developers’ idol is Eric Schmidt, the QA team’s idol is Seth Godin and the exec’s idol is Mussolini.
April 15, 2005
I’m in Minnesota today, and I’m so delighted by what I’m experiencing.
In addition to extremely nice people, inspiring architecture, a vibrant arts community and surprisingly good food, there’s a vibe in the air about the work people are doing. This placed is filled with organizations that are working hard to create stuff that’s worth doing.
What a radical difference from so many other places I’ve visited recently. There, you’ll find strip malls and low-grade office parks, with disheartened people following scripts and trying to cut costs. These are consumer and business-focused marketing organizations that have decided that the best way to make a buck is to race to the bottom. To be the cheapest or the fastest to market. No need to worry about a worn carpet or an industrial waste product with side effects. Cutting corners during the day, so they can make enough money to buy what they like at night.
I found the same contrast up in the air. American Airlines is racing to the bottom as fast as they can. The staff has given up. No smiles, no service, no effort. Saving money is the order of the day. Jet Blue, on the other hand, continues to strive to get to the top. From the free wi-fi at JFK to the terminal they want to build there, to the snacks (they even suggest mixes–created by taking say, animal crackers and pretzels and mixing them up–even though it means people are taking twice as much!)
So, I think I understand what happens when you win the race to the top. You end up with a healthy, motivated workforce that’s focused on adding art and joy to your products. You end up with profits and market share and a community that’s glad you’re there.
What happens, though, when you win the race to the bottom?
April 14, 2005
Amazon changed their UI.
How does that make you feel? It’s sort of like trying to write left handed, at least for me.
A quick lesson in how hard it is to get people to do something new. Amazon.com: Books:.
That’s what Pfizer spokesman Jay Kosminsky had to say about their lobbying efforts on Sudafed and methamphetamines in an article in the Wall Street Journal.
This quote goes a long way to explain the huge gulf between business (and politics) and the people.
When I tell people about the title of my new book (link) All Marketers are Liars they usually shake their head and say, "of course." This is one more reason why.
Sudafed and other similar cold medicines, it turns out, are a prime raw material for making meth, an insanely dangerous drug that’s ruining the lives of tens of thousands of kids. States have worked hard to require these over the counter drugs to be sold behind the counter instead. They’ve often been stymied by lobbyists for the drug industry–led for years by Pfizer, which had a lot to lose if people had to ask for the drug instead of just grabbing it.
Well, Pfizer is launching a new formulation of Sudafed that won’t contain the necessary ingredient for meth, so now it won’t be affected by a new law. In fact, a new law will be a home run for them, since the drug will be all alone on the shelf.
Guess who’s now leading the fight to move the offending drugs to the back of the store?
Good for Pfizer for fixing Sudafed. But shame on them for believing that doing the right thing all along is the same as doing the right short-term thing for the shareholders. It’s not the same. It’s not the same ethically, and it’s not the same in terms of long term profit or branding either.
Link: The New York Times > National > States May Restrict Cold Pills With Ingredient in Meth.
When I was a kid, I wanted this product more than anything in the whole world.
Of course, when you got it, you discovered that all the glasses could see through was your right hand. (I’ll let you figure out how that worked).
So technically, the ad was “true.” Of course, the real deal was:
1. it fit the goals of a pre-adolescent (power, peeping tom, magic)
2. it fit the worldview that great things were available for not a lot of money, usually by mail if you knew what to get
3. when you got it, you felt ripped off, but realized that a) you could fool your friends and b) the wait was great… you were really buying anticipation.
April 12, 2005
I was in the supermarket last week, talking to some journalists about lying. We were talking about the fact that bottled water costs more than gasoline, and that some brands cost two or three times as much as others. They suggested doing a blind taste test–pouring one of each into a glass and seeing if people could tell the difference.
Big mistake! This is the same mistake that the Pepsi Challenge forced the poor shmoes at Coke into making.
The reason it’s a mistake is that in real life, there’s almost never anything that’s really blind. You know what container that beverage came from. You know whether the table has a white linen cloth on it–or whether you’re at a luncheonette. You can see the look in the doctor’s eyes when she talks to you. You can sense the confidence of the sales rep whens he brings the latest advance in ball bearing technology to your office.
Blind taste tests take the arrogant position that there is some sort of truth. I don’t think there is.
No, the right taste test to do is not Brand X vs. Nationally Advertised Brand in unmarked glasses. The right test is to switch the contents but keep the labels. How does that water taste in this bottle?
April 11, 2005
Here’s a neat way to invent a new Purple Cow.
Figure what the always is. Then do something else.
Toothpaste always comes in a squeezable tube.
Business travelers always use a travel agent.
Politicians always have their staff screen their calls.
Figure out what the always is, then do exactly the opposite. Do the never.
A few fascinating facts about the Catholic church and the College of Cardinals (who pick the next pope).
1. one third of all the world’s Cardinals are over 80 years old.*
2. 17% of the Cardinals are from Italy, but only 5% of the world’s Catholics are.
3. 18% of the Cardinals are from Latin America, while 43% of the Catholics are.
Most organizations want to grow. Virtually all religions do. What happens, though, when your worldview and biases are so different from the places you’re hoping to grow?
(*Two updates here since I posted this yesterday. First, since about 1970, the oldest Cardinals–over 80–don’t vote on the Pope. Second, just to be clear, I’m trying to use the Church as an example for every organization in the world… I actually have no desire to give the Vatican marketing advice! It’s worth noting, though, that in the last hundred years or so, they’ve made enormous changes. For example, in the 1800s, the percentage of Italian Cardinals was three times higher than it is today.)
April 10, 2005
This is the new Mercedes Benz museum. If a car is just a car, a utilitarian device to get us from one place to another cheaply, quickly and safely, then why would Mercedes need a museum?
Of course, that’s not what a car is. A car is a symbol, a story… yes, it’s a lie. It’s an amalgamation of the identity of the maker and the purchaser and it says an enormous amount about who we are. The same thing is true about the mp3 player you wear, the cell phone you use and, yes, the insurance company you choose.
The best marketers craft these stories carefully, knowing that this is what people are actually buying. So, if you were trying to make something museum-worthy, what would you do now?
Michael Rich, ace Florida real estate developer, writes to me about HALO’s. These are the Harbor Hills Active Lifestyle Operatives. Here’s a photo.
Michael keeps their photo on display in the sales office. When a prospect asks about them, he uses it as an opportunity to introduce the women to a prospective neighbor. Not only does it sell condos, but it makes it fun to be proud of the neighborhood. It also helps keep the grouchy tenants away–because they realize he’s selling a community, not just a place to sit and whine.
April 8, 2005
