In action movies, the hero doesn't mind destroying the aircraft, road or bridge he just crossed, because it's always a one-way journey.
Retreating armies used to burn bridges as they crossed them so those in pursuit couldn't follow.
And that very mindset, the mindset of, "I am so intent on my goal that I am willing to push through this person, push through this relationship, push through this interaction, whatever it takes," is precisely how we burn our bridges.
The difference, of course, is that life is long and very few paths are only one way. You will need to come around here again.
A bridge well-crossed gets better over time. When you need to break it down to push through, you've not only hurt the person you trampled on, you've hurt your reputation.
July 9, 2014
He only cares about what's trending now. The only worthy examples are this week's examples, or even better, tomorrow's examples.
The zeitgeister will interrupt a long-term strategy discussion to talk urgently about today's micro-trend instead. The zeitgeister has little or no knowledge of the foundations of his industry, merely an out-of-context understanding of today's state of the art. He's encouraged by the media, of course, because the media are in the zeitgeist business. It's easier.
The challenge, of course, is that the momentary zeitgeist always changes. That's why it's so appealing to those that surf it, because by the time it's clear that you were wrong, it's changed and now you can talk about the new thing instead.
July 8, 2014
You are brave.
Such a generous soul, someone who doesn't hesitate to leap when others shrink in fear. Your work means so much to you and to the people you share it with, we can't help but be inspired at the way you make your magic.
You're a warrior in the service of joy and you never seem to stop standing up and speaking up and doing your very best work.
Sometimes, a particular audience doesn't deserve you. But that doesn't matter in the long run, because of your relentless generosity in sharing your gift.
I can't wait to see your next work, and the one after that.
July 7, 2014
How much do you trust your people to do the right thing?
Consider giving every person on your team a budget—$1000 a year? $200 an incident? and challenging them to spend the money to make things right, to create efficiency, to delight.
If the CFO freaks out, invite her to meet with each employee at the end of the year to hear how they chose to spend the money. $5 extra to park close enough to the airport to not miss a flight. Giving an unhappy customer a refund on the spot. Buying a subscription to an inexpensive web app that dramatically decreases customer service time…
At the Ritz-Carlton, every single employee (even the maintenance folks) has a budget of $2,000 per guest to make things right. On the spot, without asking.
Without a doubt, the guest is blown away by this rapid response. A caring person who, instead of saying, "I'll have to ask my supervisor," just makes it right. But even more important, I think, is the effect of trusting your people. You've already given them the keys to your brand, you've already made them the face of your organization—isn't it time to trust them enough to do the right thing?
July 6, 2014
Crowdsourcing and crowdfunding are built around many individuals coming together to make something happen.
But crowds don't make things, people do.
Terry and Sarah and Herbie, not the crowd.
When we say to a group, "everyone help me with this," it's easy to let someone else do it. And those asked can see the surplus, the wasted energy, the duplication implied with 'everyone'. If the crowd is assigned to help every person down on his luck, or to keep the city or the planet clean, well, that everyone doesn't have to be me.
Bobsourcing and Lisafunding, on the other hand, understand that a clear, 1:1:1 relationship between individual, project segment and organizer can change everything. Wikipedia thrives partly because the 5,000 core editors can each monitor certain articles. None of them are required to worry about all of Wikipedia, just their article.
One component, one person, one contribution, all urgent and necessary and vital.
When we rely on the crowd, we get deniability. The organizer doesn't have to ask anyone specificially, and the individual is easily off the hook. But sometimes, the hook is exactly what you want.
July 5, 2014
The answer to this is so obvious to me that it took me a while to realize that many people are far more comfortable with 'no'.
The easiest and safest thing to do is accept what you've been 'given', to assume that you are unchangeable, and the cards you've been dealt are all that are available. When you assume this, all the responsibility for outcomes disappears, and you can relax.
When I meet people who proudly tell me that they don't read (their term) "self-help" books because they are fully set, I'm surprised. First, because all help is self help (except, perhaps, for open heart surgery and the person at the makeup counter at Bloomingdales). But even this sort of help requires that you show up for it.
Mostly, though, I'm surprised because there's just so much evidence to the contrary. Fear, once again fear, is the driving force here. If you accept the results you've gotten before, if you hold on to them tightly, then you never have to face the fear of the void, of losing what you've got, of trading in your success for your failure.
And if you want to do this to yourself, well, I guess this is your choice.
But don't do it to others. Don't do it to your kids, or your students, or your co-workers. Don't do it to the people in underprivileged neighborhoods or entire countries. Better might be difficult, better might involve overcoming unfair barriers, but better is definitely possible. And the belief that it's possible is a gift.
We owe everyone around us not just the strongest foundation we can afford to offer, but also the optimism that they can reach a little higher. To write off people because you don't think getting better is comfortable enough is sad indeed.
Better is a dream worth dreaming.
July 4, 2014
Is as big as any difference we encounter. All we need is 'nearly' and we have completely transformed the problem–changing it from one to avoid to one to commit to.
Here's the hard part: having the ability to see (and to announce) the 'nearly' part.
Almost every breakthrough comes from someone who saw nearly when no one else did.
July 3, 2014
What other people think of you is called "other-people esteem." That's a different thing altogether.
If it's better to think well of yourself, then by all means, go ahead. No need to wait for us to do it for you. Without a doubt, uncaring people can tear you down and make this more difficult, but at some point, you can make a choice.
Self esteem is something that is done to childen, but for adults, it becomes a choice.
It's up to you.
July 2, 2014
After you make a list, after you've exhaustively chronicled your options, will you choose: easy, cheap, proven, brave, certain, big payoff, fun, convenient, known, unknown, important, urgent, challenging…
There is no perfect answer, but knowing which way your compass points (and saying it out loud) is the best way to move forward.
July 1, 2014
"Here, eat this food you've eaten a hundred times before. These chicken fingers and french fries are just like what we have at home. And turn on your iPad and watch that movie you like so much…"
Of course, chicken fingers are just a symptom. If we want to insulate ourselves from new experiences, ensure that we never eat something we don't like, never engage with someone we disagree with, never have to hold two opposing ideas in our head at the same time—chicken fingers are a great way to start.
The new is a habit. It's a habit we can teach to our kids and it's a habit we can learn ourselves.
Spend a few hours thinking and walking in that local park you've never visited. Go visit an online forum where you disagree with the worldview of those hanging out—but instead of arguing, listen. Play some opera while you're chilling out at home tonight. Try eating vegan for three days…
The children's menu is always available, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea.
June 30, 2014
