If we need to wait until after the short-term emergency is settled, it’s unlikely we’re ever going to get to work on the long-term important work.
Of course, we want to do “everything we can” when an emergency strikes. But the standard for that has always involved tradeoffs. Perhaps we should resist trading the important work for the urgent distraction of right now.
Something went wrong, and the other person cared enough about the relationship to let you know.
Perhaps they’re hoping that you can rebuild a bridge. That you can see what they see and care enough to do something about it.
A half apology is a little like half a balloon. It takes effort, but it doesn’t have much utility.
Honoring the moment, an apology is a chance to reconnect and actually move forward. If that’s not your goal, a half-apology might be fine, but don’t expect much to come of it. If you can’t see or accept the other person’s situation, you haven’t responded to the very thing that prompted the apology in the first place.
The opportunity for an apology is just that–an opportunity to demonstrate to the person you care about that you see them, understand them, and are concerned enough to extend yourself.
The useful apology celebrates the relationship and takes responsibility for what went wrong. It’s hard to minimize your way through this moment. Empathy and care might be a more useful alternative than trying to get it over with without too much responsibility taken.
It might be all the text on your website, or the last 50 emails you sent. It might be your new book or the speech you’re going to give at Rice University.
It only takes a few minutes. I use wordclouds.com because it’s easy and free.
Click the ‘word list’ menu and ‘extract words from text’. Paste in your text (it can handle an entire book) and it will generate a word cloud. Here’s Kennedy’s speech on the mission to space:
At a glance, you’ll discover the essence of your tone, whether you have some stop words to be edited out (I use “just” too much) and what your audience is going to experience as the work unfolds.
It can be particularly useful for less formal interactions, like email.
Pavement is invisible to the driver. It’s expected, smooth, resilient and gets out of the way. You only notice a road when it’s not paved well.
Nature, on the other hand, is never perfect. All untouched forests are natural, yet each is different. That’s the point.
Hardness can be perfect. You can measure it. Softness, on the other hand, is multi-dimensional.
There are moments in our engagements with customers or clients where we want the steps to be paved. A simple route from here to there. If you’re going to pave something, make sure it’s perfect.
But the rest of the time, the texture and variability of what we create is part of the magic.
Management has never been easy, but as the world becomes more complex, it gets more difficult.
We’d like to imagine that the person (or AI bot, or freelancer, or firm) that we hired has enough drive, insight and common sense to do exactly what we do in the situation.
No need to spell everything out, just think like me and do the right thing.
Of course, the person being managed is just as challenged in empathy as you are. You don’t know what it’s like to be them, and vice versa.
The person we’re counting on doesn’t see what we see, doesn’t know what we know and might not even want what we want.
We can deny this and insist that they read our heart and our minds.
Or we can embrace this and lean into empathy. We can draw a very clear picture of what we seek and create the conditions for the person to do the work that we’d like to have done.
Managing is a skill and it’s difficult. Sometimes, we’re lucky enough to work with someone who manages themselves, but we don’t often give this commitment the credit it deserves.
The rest of the time, we’re signing up for the hard work of not only seeing where someone else is, but going there and working to be understood.
This question is a trap. It’s based on scarcity and entitlement, and most of all, the world isn’t listening. When more and more people focus on this question, it simply pushes us apart.
On the other hand, “what do I owe the world?” opens the door for endless opportunity. When lots of people ask this question, the contributions add up, the connections are solidified and better is possible.
The best part is that waiting for the world to get things just right is exhausting and frustrating, while taking responsibility for what we might be able to contribute or lead can be energizing and fun.
The magazine publisher acted like the best sales were newsstand sales, even though the profit came from subscriptions and most people simply visited the website.
Book publishers and editors seem to focus on selling copies on paper, sold in independent bookstores. They spend as little time as they can on audiobooks.
The actors, producers and directors count the sales of tickets and popcorn. Watching the superclip on YouTube doesn’t count, and Netflix is okay, but mostly because it gives them another chance at the theater.
Record labels still focus on radio airplay and vinyl or CD sales. Streaming just isn’t the same when it comes to hits.
And the New York Times now generates more time on-site and profit from word games than they do from news. You wouldn’t know that from their staffing or the conversations they have.
Bestseller lists capture our attention, but which lists? To what end?
The Long Tail plus always-on streaming can’t help but transform the culture. Muhammad Ali was the last “most famous person in the world” and that record probably won’t be broken.
As each cultural industry begins to be run by people who grew up as digital natives, they’ll change how they keep score, which will shift what they make.
To see it all shift this way, everywhere all at once, is a bit like a complete solar eclipse. It’s rare and we won’t see a shift like this happen again soon.
First, if you have a script or a highlighted goal in mind, you’re pitching. You’re simply asking questions to create connection, tension or forward motion.
Second, if you’re willing to learn and change your point of view as a result of the conversation, you’re asking. That’s rare.
People can tell.
June 2, 2024
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